What's Up Magazines

By Andrew Keatts, Whats Up? Eastern Shore Managing Editor

Sasha Baron Cohen Returns

Posted: Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Conventional wisdom after Borat made a cool $26 mill in its first weekend stated that Baron Cohen had a nice run, but he'd now be too famous to stage a farce of the same scale ever again.

Then word came that his next movie would feature Da Ali G Show's tertiary character Bruno, a fashion reporter and homosexual stereotype, as its protagonist. Though Bruno had his moments during the show's HBO run (coaxing a wrestling team on spring break to pose for a fictional Austrian gay channel was unforgetable) he was undoubtedly the show's least popular character. Fans didn't ...

Read the full story...

Comments (1)

Sasha Baron Cohen Bruno Ron Paul

Reflections from a judge of the International Water Tasting Competition

Posted: Wednesday, March 04, 2009

"If you want to understand the teaching of water, just drink."

– Zen saying

Drink I did. Understand, well, I'm still working on it.

Two weekends ago I attended the Berkeley Springs International Water Tasting Festival. As a judge. Yes, me, the man with a palate so unrefined as to eat leftover pizza for upwards of a week, who prefers ribeye steaks to filets, who insists no person can differentiate between light beers. Humbled by the offer, I said I'd be happy to appear as a guest judge.

Awarding gold, silver, and bronze medals in four categories (municipal, bottled purified, bottled non-carbonated, and sparkling), the Berkeley Springs ...

Read the full story...

Comments (1)

Berkeley Springs West Virginia Water Master Arthur Von Wiesenberger International Water Tasting Festival Water Tasting

How to Fix ESPN

Posted: Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I just received an email from Can't Buy a Thrill-reader and eccentric-friend Nick Barrie. Nick and I have, like many sports fans, wasted considerable energy lamenting the shallow, repetitive, and clichéd sports coverage provided by the "worldwide leader in sports." Regurgitating the failings and annoyances of ESPN's programming is a useless charade; they're either self-evident or you're merely a casual sports fan (nothing personal).

But who can't complain aimlessly? Offering a viable alternative is considerably more difficult.

Nick's email follows:

10–11 a.m. Sportscenter: Shows highlights with "sports news" receiving very minor attention. No Stu Scott, no B.S.

10 a.m.–noon. ...

Read the full story...

Comments (3)

Oscar Preview, or, Five Movies I Liked This Year

Posted: Sunday, February 22, 2009

I probably shouldn't call this a preview, since I have no interest in actually "viewing" the Oscars, and apparently not many others do either. 




But movies, good movies, are worthy investments of time, so maybe this should just be called "Five Movies I Liked This Year." No need for superlatives or unnatural categorization, just a list of 2+ hours of entertainment deserving of inclusion into your busy schedule, particularly if you can find a way to watch them for less than $10 a pop.




Frankly, I never saw The Reader, Vicki Christina Barcelona, Milk, Frozen River,...

Read the full story...

Comments (189)

Kabluey Wall-E The Wrestler Slumdog Millionaire Frost/Nixon

Anne Arundel County's Very Own Sex Scandal

Posted: Thursday, February 12, 2009

You may have heard that Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold is embroiled in a bit of a sex scandal (allegedly, reportedly, supposedly, purportedly, supposedly...). His alleged automobile was reportedly spotted in the parking garage of Nordstrom's where supposed illicit conduct was purportedly observed by the store's supposed assistant manager. To his credit, Leopold has casually dismissed the charges and explained that an investigation revealed no untoward behavior. Fair enough.

 

But if 1998 taught us anything, it's that everyone loves a sex scandal.

Last year's tumult with Elliot Spitzer was pretty good, aided by the revelation that his call ...

Read the full story...

Comments (1)

Slots in Maryland and Preakness

Posted: Monday, February 09, 2009

So in one week, Jockey Club announces that Preakness fans (I use that term loosely) will no longer be permitted to bring their own alcohol into Preakness, and the state announces that the first bids for slot machines in will produce less than half of the 15,000 machines granted by November's legislation.

 

Obviously, the first thought that comes to mind is, it was nice having a horse racing industry while it lasted. Hopefully that statement is reactionary and hyperbolic, but it seems logical based on everything I've read on the issue over the last 3 years.

On Preakness, ...

Read the full story...

Comments (2)

Slots Preakness

Catching up, and a mea culpa

Posted: Friday, January 30, 2009

I know, I know, I've been derelict of my duties here at Can't Buy a Thrill for a little while now. Instead of boring you with excuses, I'll just say that you can expect a return to my updating a few times a week.

Seeing as this is a reunion of sorts, I'll make this post a collection of stray thoughts I've had in the last few weeks.


· I watched my beloved Eagles fall to the worst franchise in the history of American sports two weeks ago in the NFC championship game in Phoenix. This is the second defeat ...

Read the full story...

Comments (7)

Inauguration Wall-E Milk Oscars The Dark Knight NFC Championship Game Slumdog Millionaire Frost/Nixon Philadelphia Eagles Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Samsung Dimension

Posted: Friday, December 05, 2008

I’ve entered a new dimension.

 

Not the fourth dimension, as conventional logic would suggest is the next step. Rather, I’ve entered the Samsung dimension, a dimension with new colors, colors that aren’t seen but felt, nay, sensed. I don’t even need my eyes in this dimension, and the physical world I previously occupied is drab and lifeless by comparison.

 

I purchased an HDTV.

 

A year or two ago I took a principled stand against high-definition television. I was in a luxury box at a San Diego Padres game. There were HDTVs hanging in front of me, just ...

Read the full story...

Comments (2)

The Onion tugsit Cher

Reflections on an election

Posted: Wednesday, November 05, 2008

[Feel free to skip my slightly sentimental reflection on the election and go straight to some stray observations, which I’ll keep semi-lighthearted.]

 

Wounds heal fast in 2008. Seething with distaste for months, it took me about 10 seconds of his concession speech to remember a different John McCain. “Forget” isn’t the right word, but it’s definitely true that I haven’t spent much time lately thinking about the John McCain who seemed like a glimmer of hope in the Republican party, the anti-Bush that he was in 2000 and 2004. As I came to like Barack Obama, I stopped venting ...

Read the full story...

Comments (1)

Andy Harris Frank Kratovil Maryland Election 2008

The slots issue no one is talking about

Posted: Friday, October 24, 2008

You might have heard, the election will be here in a mere 11 days. In addition to the little-publicized presidential election and the various congressional races in the state, Marylanders will also have the opportunity to flex their democratic muscle on the slot referendum, a hot-button issue in the state for a number of years.

Supporters view slots as a boon to the state's fledgling budget that doesn't require a raise in taxes. Furthermore, they point to the presence of slots in West Virginia, Delaware, and Pennsylvania and remind us that Marylanders are taking their money there, providing funds for the schools ...

Read the full story...

Comments (0)

Andrew Keatts Slots Preakness October 2008 Maryland Slots Referendum

Words and phrases I'll (hopefully) hear for the last time on 11/4/2008

Posted: Thursday, October 16, 2008

Hockey Mom

Lipstick on a pig

Yes, we can

Joe the plumber

Joe Six-pack

First Dude

What I do believe...

My friends...

Maverick

Gotcha journalism

Read the full story...

Comments (3)

Obama-McCain Debate: Obama on a Bar Stool

Posted: Wednesday, October 08, 2008

For one candidate last night, it was easy to confuse the town hall debate as a pool hall grudge-match.

On a night when neither man answered a single question and instead opted to regurgitate stump speeches where they didn't fit, the most telling difference between the two Senators had nothing to do with what they said, what they thought, with whom they had associated in their pasts, or where they call home.

Nothing said last night revealed as much as the way the two men sat on their committee-provided stools.

Obama comfortably slung an athletic frame over his stool as though he belonged ...

Read the full story...

Comments (3)

Obama-McCain Debate

Prescient Words from Hunter S. Thompson

Posted: Wednesday, October 01, 2008

It's been a few years since I read anything from Hunter S. Thompson. Like most males who fancy themselves writers at a young age and dig rock and roll and think they're going to grow up to stick it to the establishment, he was always one of my favorite writers.

A few weeks ago I picked up a copy of Hey Rube, a collection of columns Thompson wrote for ESPN.com from 2000 through 2003. During those years, I was well entrenched in the delusions I mentioned above and read Thompson's column every week.

Thompson's satirical gifts make the book more than merely ...

Read the full story...

Comments (0)

Hunter S. Thompson Hey Rube

The Return of Comedy

Posted: Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Chris Rock's new HBO special Kill the Messenger premieres this Saturday, hopefully ushering in an era in which stand-up comedy can once again subvert societal restrictions, contextualize political correctness, announce the realities that are easier ignored, and, oh yeah, make us laugh. It's been a while since that's been the case.




Those are the things that stand-up used to do, but things have been bleak for the genre lately. Dane Cook, a talentless hack who not only plagiarizes jokes, but also sucks the humor directly from them, has somehow become the superstar of the form. Carlos Menzia appears to be ...

Read the full story...

Comments (0)

Carlos Mencia Dane Cook George Carlin Jerry Seinfeld Chris Rock Stand-up Comedy

Hibernating for the Summer

Posted: Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It started on a Thursday, with a hated rival defeating a slightly more hated rival. Four days later, it continued when the league's biggest celebrity saw his season vanish in only eight minutes. It brought me a late-season sunburn as sat in Lincoln Financial Field and watched my boys run up a blowout for the ages with a 38-3 week-one win. It ended with me climbing out of a totaled car on the way home, rear ended by someone who wasn't even at the game to begin with, for all I know texting away while she should have been driving. ...

Read the full story...

Comments (2)

Football Philadelphia Eagles Washington Redskins NFL

Review: Pineapple Express

Posted: Thursday, August 07, 2008

Short of The Big Lebowski, stoner flicks have proven a redundant lot, each with their share of short-term memory-loss jokes, a few references to the munchies, a soundtrack filled with classic reggae favorites, and at least one montage of your title characters getting really, really, really high.

 

Then there’s the comparatively new class of I-don’t-wanna-grow-up buddy comedies—Superbad, Knocked Up, The 40-Year-Old Virgin— produced by Judd Apatow and his band of lost boys. They’re each dialogue-heavy comedies of error that rely on their likable, slacker protagonists and the homoerotic company they keep to sustain a flow of ...

Read the full story...

Comments (2)

Pineapple Express

Idiot Box-ing

Posted: Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences (ATAS), in their infinite wisdom, has released the 2008 nominees for the Emmy Awards, a supposedly meaningful distinction that continues its embarrassing crawl to complete irrelevance.

For the fifth year, the ATAS has decided that The Wire, the greatest show in the history of television, is not one of the five best shows of the year. Rather than honoring the one program that had the vision to contextualize plagues of urban America such as de-industrialization, No Child Left Behind, the War on Drugs, and incompetent journalism, the good people (using this term ...

Read the full story...

Comments (1)

Generation Kill Ryan Seacrest John Adams The Emmys David Simon The Wire

The Birth of a Rivalry

Posted: Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Prior to the weekend of June 28-30 2008, “The Battle of the Beltway” was nothing but a marketing slogan attached to a lifeless interleague match-up between two hapless ball clubs.

Now? Well, it’s a reference to a potential rivalry between the Orioles and the Nationals, two teams that remain, admittedly, quite hapless. I know, this doesn’t sound like the enthusiastic review that normally precedes a “this is when it all started” declaration, but in sports, nothing is more transparent than melodrama. (Someone please pass this note to ESPN).

Still, we'll look back at this weekend, the first series between the teams ...

Read the full story...

Comments (1)

Baltimore Orioles Washington Nationals

RAAM finds permanent home in Annapolis

Posted: Thursday, June 19, 2008

Check out sights and sounds from the finish line.

Race Across America (RAAM) may be the coolest sporting event that no one knows about.

I'm not lecturing, here, either. I just learned about it at 9 a.m. on Tuesday, when cyclists began staggering across the finish line at City Dock, 8 days after setting out across the country from Oceanside, CA.

Consider this: Jure Robic, for his 4th consecutive RAAM victory, traveled 3,000 miles in 8 days, 23 hours, and 33 minutes. That's an average of 400 miles per day. On a bike. I don't even like to travel 400 miles ...

Read the full story...

Comments (27)

Race Across America Jure Robic Tour de France Mayor Ellen Moyer RAAM

Johnny Five Is Alive

Posted: Thursday, June 05, 2008

How has every person older than 20 not yet stood up in protest of Disney Pixar's newest offering?

Wall-E, apparently the story of two robots whose conflicting personalities bring out the best in one another, features a main character who looks shockingly familiar to anyone with even a vague memory of the '80s. Ally Sheedy, it's time for you to protest in the name of your defunct robot fling. Johnny Five, of Short Circuit fame, can't speak for himself. It's time for you to speak for him.

This really is ridiculous. Take a look at a few pictures of ...

Read the full story...

Comments (0)

Johnny Five Wall-E Short Circuit Disney Pixar

2. 1
3. 2
4. »